After we welcomed our daughter Ava into the world 6.5 years ago, we weren’t sure that she would be our last; however, we did know that we wanted to wait several years before adding a third (and final) baby to the mix. This decision was driven primarily from a financial standpoint. Childcare is so, so, so expensive! Other than the occasional mom guilt that creeps in, I love being a full-time working mom, but that means we have to juggle both the financial and logistical practicalities of caring for our children. We both agreed to remain open to a third child, but hold off on the serious possibility until Ava went to Kindergarten. In the early days, Kris had his heart set on a third baby, while I tended to treat Ava as my last baby. But, as the years went by and I checked in with my heart (and the Lord) each summer, that possibility of adding just one more baby grew and grew.
When I first brought it up to Kris last summer, he totally forgot about our conversation five years earlier. He was pretty focused on his 401K plans and enjoying both the rhythm and freedom of the season of life we found ourselves in. So, I asked him to pray about it for a month and see where the Lord might be leading. Kris wasn’t ready to close the possibility, but also wasn’t fully committed to “going for it” this year. As I inch closer to 40, I ultimately felt like it was now or never.
Last July, we had an intentional conversation about our values and priorities as a family. While we were both equally hesitant about what a third baby would mean for our family, we also couldn’t imagine our future without one.
As a child, I wasn’t one who dreamed of getting married or having a family. In fact, even when I got married, the idea of having children was the furthest thing from my mind. Children - and the subsequent responsibility and sacrifice - terrified me.
But God is so very gracious and kind. Something that I was so terrified of, turned out to be life’s best surprise. Of course, being a parent is crazy hard at times - but it's also proven to be filled with more joy than I ever thought possible. It’s incredible to see our best (and worst) selves reflected in tiny humans who are curious and excited about the world we live in. When I think about the deeper questions of life - and ultimately my “deathbed” - family comes right behind living a life that is honoring and pleasing to Jesus.
10 years ago - that was not the case. I was so “career focused” - desiring to prove something to myself (and others) that family was simply something else to juggle.
When I had Ava, I had just started my dream job at Messiah. I wanted to be a team player and prove that I could juggle motherhood and my career. During maternity leave I found myself prepping to teach a new class and returned to work immediately after six weeks, even though Ava was in the hospital the week earlier. While these were my “choices” - I also perceived I had no choice.
Fast forward to COVID - just a few years later and I am being furloughed from the job I sacrificed so much for. While I still care deeply about the work I do outside the home, the Lord has shown me that my professional life is but a vapor - but the potential impact I have on the lives of my children is something that can be far more lasting.
While we had many conversations around the practicalities of having another baby, it was ultimately the deep joy of motherhood and the desire to pour into another tiny human’s life that sealed the deal. We decided to give it a year - seeking to trust the Lord that if it was in His will to raise another biological child that we’d become pregnant and - if not - we’d close that particular chapter.
It certainly did not happen right away and there were many, many doubts and tears, but just before we found out we were pregnant, the Lord gifted me with an overwhelming sense of peace and I found myself truly surrendering to His timing and will for our lives.
Absolutely! In fact, we got rid of 98% of our baby gear and 100% of our baby clothes. We don’t love storing “extra” things we aren’t using and figured if our family and friends could use the baby items then we’d much rather have them get use and enjoyment out of the baby items, as opposed to collecting dust for a baby that may or may not be in our future.
Already, our friends have been SO incredible! We have the absolute best community of people in our lives who are eager and ready to pass on their baby items to bless our little one. Since this is our last planned/intentional peanut, we don’t feel the need to go out and buy new items. We know how expensive babies are - so if we can mitigate some of the expenses in the beginning, it will be a huge blessing!
And while few enjoy the newborn stage of sleepless nights and diapers - we also know how short this season is in the grand scheme of things. The Lord has given us wisdom, time and experience - as well as two sweet helpers (Eli & Ava), making this season even sweeter.
Eli was fairly certain we were lying to him and Ava had no clue what was going on. We captured the hilariously sweet moment on camera:
Yes! Because I am such a planner and we passed along all of our kids’ clothes, we decided to find out the gender.
I’ve already received such a range of reactions and responses from family, friends, and strangers alike. In fact, I’m guessing this news is a shock to most of you who are reading! Just know, this sweet baby was prayed for - for many years - and we welcome your prayers as we continue in this pregnancy and enter into a new season for our family in 2024.
XOXO
They were wrong!
They were right!